Finding the right person for you is a very introspective and personal process. The truth is that no-one can tell you who your perfect life partner is because, well, they don’t know you as well as you do. However, counselors and psychologists do exist for a reason, one of which is to enhance personal and romantic growth and treat relationship issues. According to such experts, finding the right life partner is all about behaviors and connecting, making sure that as individuals you enhance each other emotionally and not break each other down. Here are some of the tips you can follow to do some self-reflection and reflection about potential partners to see if this is a lifelong match.
First, be at peace with yourself
A fairly common mistake that people make is that they jump from one relationship to the next, always stumbling into problems eventually. In this case, the common denominator is probably an unresolved personal issue that manifests itself in various ways in the relationship. For example, a person might find that they become unsure about the relationship when it suddenly seems too committed to them (commonly known as commitment issues). In such cases, they might continually have relationship issues.
We all have problems, but before we can find the right life partner, we need to ensure that we have resolved any self-destructive issues. If you find yourself in this pattern, don’t be afraid to visit a professional.
It’s about attraction
Once you are at peace with yourself, you can begin to search for the right partner. Every romantic relationship starts with attraction. The problem with some relationships is that the attraction is only in one plane – the physical. When searching for the right life partner, make sure that you are attracted to them on all three planes – physically, mentally, and emotionally and that they are equally attracted to you on all three planes. Physical attraction is easy to decipher, but such other questions you could ask are: “do I have stimulating conversations with this person?” (i.e. don’t get bored) or “do I trust this person for emotional support?” (and vice versa).
It’s also about connection
Connection with another person describes if you can relate to, be honest with, and trust that person. Each of these takes a little work, but after you’ve spent some time with the person you can begin to observe if they feel comfortable sharing intimate details about themselves and that you trust them enough to do the same. This sort of basic connection is a very important part of successful, long-term relationships.
Red flags are for a reason
At the end of the day, relationships can become very complicated and difficult to navigate through. There may be certain signs that your potential partner gives off that tells you that they are not for you. Maybe the person is insecure all the time or displays controlling behavior. These are just some of the examples of red flags. It is important to be honest with yourself about such characteristics. An easy enough way to identify a red flag is to picture the future of the relationship where the person has not changed the behavior. Is it a pleasant image? If not – red flag.
There is a lot of debate about love languages and they are quite complex. It’s a good idea to become familiar with them and see if you and your partner can understand and match each other’s love language. This is the basis for building security and understanding.